Adventures with Geannii

Camping is the life—especially when I’m the guest and others are responsible for all the work. We woke up to the sound of high winds rocking the camper, then… a huge crash! The awning. Yes, the awning. We had left it up, because why be sensible when the night is warm and balmy? It had been so hot that we hated following the “no generators after eleven pm” rule. We suffered in… not silence exactly, more like an Olympic-level flopping competition, twisting and turning to find some relief, drenched in sweat, like human puddles. Finally, a bit of relief as the wind quickly cooled everything down. And then—the huge crash! Oh no! The awning pole was bent just a little. Not catastrophic… yet. Clint, Pam's #4 sone swooped in like a tiny superhero and helped us get it down. By now, we were all soaked from the sudden rain, so really, what was the point of trying to stay dry? Survival mode: activated. Sweet Clint always the thoughtful one, brought us milk and cereal for breakfast. Tiny pr...

  How I Almost Fried the Electrician My brother, Buddy, invited me to visit. (He lost his partner of eighteen years just nine months after I lost my husband, so we’ve been keeping each other company.) I love his patio — I could practically live out there, and honestly, I usually do whenever I’m with him. One sunny afternoon, Buddy left to run an errand, leaving me home alone. (Dangerous idea. I really do need a little supervision.) The sun was streaming through the house, and I noticed the kitchen light was still on. Being helpful, I went to turn it off. I flipped every switch I could find. Nothing happened. “Ohhh,” I thought, “maybe this is a smart house.” So I tried the magic words: “Hey Google, kitchen light off.” “Siri, kitchen light off.” “Alexa, kitchen light off.” Nothing. Then I spotted two hidden switches behind the back door. I flipped one and got distracted just as Buddy pulled into the driveway. Later, while I ran out to grab lunch, Buddy returned to find th...

  I'm at  The World’s largest Tri-State-Gas Engine and Tractor Show in Portland Indiana with one of my best friends, Pam.   I did not know the woman had a secret desire toward me.... yeah... that's right... To KILL me.    First we go to the Dollar General all is well until I round a corner and have a giant spider dangled in front of my face!! I screamed and jumped back; my brain tried to reason with my heart... it's a fake spider!     She just had to buy it to go on the front of our golf cart. It is NOT FALL... it is NOT time for Spiders to be in season.  I didn't question her, she is my friend, it is her golf cart and now her spider.   She let me drive I think she likes having a chauffeur.    All is going well, until someone we passed said, "Hey did you know you have a spider on your windshield?"  I was looking to kill me a little spider on my windshield... ARGH. Then I realized he meant the big hairy one. Yeah, that one....