Waking Up Naked and Afraid

Darlin’ Daughter, Brandy came down with COVID and was quarantined upstairs in her room. To keep us all connected, Darlin’ Son-in-Law  Rob, set up a little face chat from the living room with him and the boys.

Somehow, the conversation turned to pillows.

Rob said, “We should buy new pillows every year. Drool is a breeding ground for all kinds of undesirables. Hey Brandy, show your mom your pillow.”

Naturally, I expected to see a bed pillow. Nope. She pulled up one of those travel pillows and wrapped it around her neck like a giant orthopedic collar.

The first thing out of my mouth?
“Doesn’t that kind of hinder the romance department?”

The look on Rob’s face—eyes darting, lips twitching—told me he had ten jokes lined up in his head, and not one of them was appropriate for a family call. Smart man. Instead, he quickly redirected:

“Hey Zak show Mema your leg!”

Smooth escape, Rob. Smooth.

Zak lifted his pant leg and—oh my word—there was a long, ugly gash. “What the what?!” was all I could manage.

He explained, “I had surgery.”

Turns out Michael had skipped school that day and ended up being a blessing. He helped Rob navigate the hospital maze while Zak got checked in. They even got matching wristbands so Rob wouldn’t sneak home with “a better kid.” (As if there’s any better kid than my grandsons!)

But Zak wasn’t done telling his story. And oh boy, did it take a turn.

“Mema! The nurse told me to strip down naked in front of her! I asked if she could turn around. She said, ‘Aww honey, I’ve seen it all.’ I told her, ‘NOT MINE! So I turned around and kept my underwear on.”

He continued, eyes wide: “They promised a nurse would be there when I woke up. But I woke up cold, alone… and my underwear was GONE!”

My poor grandson. He literally woke up naked and afraid.

Rob added, “Yeah, he had to let me and his brother help him get dressed.”

Zak just shrugged. “I didn’t care, Dad. I just wanted out of there.”

Of course, once home, things got worse because they forgot to stay on top of his pain meds.

Brandy sighed, “Mom, it was so bad I just told him—take any drugs you want.”

I gasped. “You made it sound like street drugs were an option!"

She quickly clarified. “I meant Tylenol or what the doctor prescribed!”

It wasn’t funny at the time… but I laughed until tears ran down my cheeks.

Because sometimes in the middle of pain, panic, and pandemics, you just have to laugh—especially when your grandson wakes up with his underwear missing.