Mad Ironer Story



 World’s largest Tri-State-Gas Engine and Tractor Show in Portland Indiana.

   Forty acres (or more) of Flea Markets, Tractor and Engine exhibits. You may not know you need it, you will find it. 

  I kept telling myself, I need nothing. I am downsizing. I am window shopping. See what things people thought they couldn't live without and discovered, this item now needs a new home.

   I never thought I'd find one, NOT that I needed it. A child's iron that actually works. 

I picked it up and showed Pam. 

This is exactly like the one  Dad brought home and gave to JoDee.  She was about three years old. (I was a much more mature six years old.) We plugged it in, it got really hot.

 Mom Said, "Do not plug it in, if you forget it in a pile of clothes it can catch on fire and we can die in our sleep." 

   One day, JoDee  was being too quiet, Mom sent me to go check on her. 

   There she was with the door closed... ironing clothes... with the little iron, PLUGGED IN!

   "Mom said you can't plug it in!" I yelled at her and tried to take it away. 

   "You're not my boss" She said and stuck her tongue out at me as she moved away clutching the hot iron in her little fist.

   I narrowed my eyes, she was so not going to win! Mom said not to plug it in and she did, and then she stuck her tongue out at me! Well the war ain't over sister! If I unplugged it, she would just plug it back in. I'll teach her! This is going to require some heavy duty equipment...the good scissors. 

Mom didn't ask for much in life. She did ask for some special left handed scissors. They were not cheap back in the 1960s. I knew where mom hid them. (the middle child always knows where things are hid.)

   I grabbed the good scissors, stormed back into the bedroom and without any warning, I cut the cord. 

  I heard a weird ZAAAAP POW and sparks blinded me for a moment. Mom will be so proud of me. I saved the family from the 'Demon Mad Ironer' I am the hero of the day.

  A few days later, Mom held up her precious scissors and yelled in her outdoor voice of course she didn't know it was an outdoor voice at the time...it was the 1960s.

 "Who ruined my good scissors?" 

  Ruined? what was she talking about? I knew from experience not to volunteer any information.

   "Seriously! who used my good scissors?" Mom waved the scissors in front of us like we could see how they were ruined. They looked perfectly fine to me.

    How did she know I used them? Maybe it wasn't me that ruined them. Then again, Valerie and JoDee weren't smart enough to know where they were hid...I kept my mouth shut.

   "When you cut something it had to be electrical, it arced a hole in my good scissors and ruined them."

   Oh she knows it was electrical, now is the time to confess, I saved the family. "It was me." I proudly claimed. "JoDee was going to burn down the house, she was using the toy iron with it plugged in,  so I cut the cord!"

   "With it plugged in? Why didn't you unplug it? You ruined my good scissors." Mom focused her angry face on me. I was clearly not the hero.

  " I didn't think about unplugging it, I was stopping the Mad Ironer from killing us in our sleep like you said! I was just making sure she didn't do it again." I said. This was not how I thought it would end. 

  "Well, you could have been killed." Mom said as an afterthought.

   Mom was more worried about the ruined good scissors than me being killed.

  Pam and the man laughed at the story. Pam asked how much he'd take for the iron. He said $4.00

   Apparently I needed the iron... it came home with me.

   I handed it to JoDee, she was like being reunited with a long lost relative!

   

  



  



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