Great Great Nephews Are The Best

 “So Buddy tempted me with two giant totes of clothes. And I’m thinking, can I use any of them? Oh my goodness — YES. This man dresses better than I do! I wanted to take them all. But then I remembered… oh yeah, I have two adult grandsons. How do you forget something like that? That’s not hindsight, that’s a senior moment wrapped in denial.

So I filled a garbage bag full. Half for me, half for Marvin. And then I decided to take a walk. Did I want to? No. Why? Because it was HOT. Like Satan’s armpit hot. But I did it anyway, only went a mile and came home. And in case you missed it — it was HOT.

After I stopped melting, we went to meet Jessica and the boys at a taco shop with some fancy Spanish name… like Taquiro del Blah Blah. I just called it “Taco-something.” On the way, we passed the Salvation Army. I said, ‘Are we stopping?’ Translation: ‘We are stopping.’

And it paid off. I got a Samsonite backpack for $6. SIX BUCKS! This thing holds two laptops, a Smashbook, probably a microwave if I wanted. I also grabbed two pairs of shoes — boots with bling, because you never know when Dolly Parton’s gonna call me on stage — and some purple slip-ons.

Now here’s the thing. I was literally wearing one purple shoe and one black-and-orange shoe. I asked JoDee which ones she liked. She said, ‘The brown ones.’ …Brown?! Y’all, there were no brown shoes! I’m still confused. But I bought the purple ones, just in case.

We got to the taco shop at the same time as Jessica and the boys, and Arthur was already giving his mom a run for her money. Slurped his lemonade like it was a frat party, then snatched Harvey’s drink too. Kid was wild — until TJ walked in. Suddenly Arthur was like, ‘Yes Father, I am an angel, may I shine your shoes?’

Then TJ says, ‘Tell Aunt Jeani about your chickens.’ And Arthur’s like, ‘YES!’ Chickens, eggs, money — this kid basically owns a farm-to-table empire at age six. Then they tell me he’s got a goat named Sissy. Why? Because they want a baby sister. So when they tell people, ‘Sissy’s been jumping the fence again,’ everyone thinks their toddler’s running wild in the neighborhood.

And Arthur, this kid is nose-to-nose with me, practically in my lap, telling me stories like I’m Barbara Walters. Meanwhile Harvey didn’t wanna hug me goodbye. I told him, ‘Oh no, you’re not getting away without a hug.’ He grinned, like, ‘Yeah lady, you win.’

After all that fun, we went to Goodwill. Their prices? Yikes. But I found a couple long-sleeve shirts for $2 with ‘Ouray’ printed on them. And the cutest suitcase-shaped stationery. Because apparently, even my journaling has to travel.