Adventures with Geannii

   A Bright Idea (That Wasn’t) Years ago, when my grandson Z was little, I wasn’t feeling well. Achy, tired. I thought: “Hot bath. That’ll fix me right up.” The problem? The bathroom was on the third floor . My daughter was in the basement doing… who knows. Exercising, watching TV, maybe using that Virtual Headset I’m not allowed to touch unless supervised. So naturally, my brain went here: “If I faint in the tub, no one’s gonna hear me.” And then came the bright idea. (Which, for the record, is always dangerous. My bright ideas never end well.) Enter Z, Age Four Z was lying on the floor, watching cartoons on an old phone. I said: “Hey buddy, Mema’s not feeling good. I’m not gonna lock the bathroom door. Could you sit outside, watch your cartoons, and if you hear me fall, run and get your mom? I’ll give you a dollar.” Now, he was four. Didn’t know the value of money yet. To him, a dollar might as well have been a winning lottery ticket.  I take my bath. Nothing happens...

     I took a slight detour on my way home from Tybee Island to see my grandsons.  I really miss them.       Rob, my son-in-law is very entertaining, I’ve heard him described as a white Chris Rock, I can see it.  For instance, one morning, the youngest Grandson crawled up on dad’s lap. (Z was 9 at the time.) Suddenly we had a ventriloquist.  Rob put his hand on the back of Z’s neck and told him to just open and shut his mouth while Dad did the talking.      Entertainment with our coffee.      Bedtime, I am in the basement. (Yes, they keep Mema in the basement and toss her crumbs. Rob’s comment at one point.)     The family lives in the basement. Big screen TV, gaming computers, Karaoke machine. ( I was told DO NOT to touch the Karaoke machine without them present. They wanted to laugh.)  Really do not touch the Occulus RIFT ( a Virtual Reality headset) I might have a heart attack. (This from Z...

  I was on my way home from my friend's house two hours away. Van always drove us, now I use my GPS.    I called my sister to visit while driving home, as I talked to her, I mentioned, I don't remember Road construction on the way down here.     My GPS was strangely silent, not saying a word, like she was gagged and thrown in the trunk I poked the button... Apparently someone forgot to put in an address... no wonder she wasn't yelling at me!    Valerie: "Sounds like you're lost."   Me: "Nope I'm still on the road heading north, I'm not lost, know right where I am... IN ROAD CONSTRUCTION."    Dustin: Sounds like you might be lost.    Me: Nope, I know where I'm going! I can't be lost! I might end up in Kansas... but I'm not lost."    Dustin, (her son):"you want us to put out an APB on ya?"   Valerie: "Why would you put out an All Peanut Butter tracker on her?"   Me thinking, you really are special.  ...